Anticipation

Have you ever been excited, but not entirely sure why? It's kind of a weird feeling. I've been up since 4am. My 2 year old woke me up, but I couldn't seem to fall back asleep like I usually do. Probably because I had another dream. I've been having them for a week or two now. Lots and lots of dreams. God is trying to communicate with me about something- what I'm not entirely sure.

After trying for over an hour to go back to sleep this morning, it occurred to me that maybe I should get out of bed and pray. (Not sure why it took an entire hour for that idea to hit me :) Lord, forgive me... I'm a little slow sometimes usually.

I have been a little burdened over the past month. Just different stuff piling up in my spirit. Stuff I was developing grudges over, stuff I was sad about, stuff I wish I could fix... I had managed to get a pretty stinky attitude over all that STUFF. I was still doing my "usual" Bible reading and praying each day, but I needed what I like to call a "soul recalibration". :) So I went to embassyinstitute.org and resumed watching some seminars. It had been awhile since I'd been on. I can't even describe how grateful I am for the IBLP ministry. My attitude took a shift almost immediately. The washing of the water by the Word has a potent effect!

You know, whenever God wants to tell us something or do something with us... Satan seems to show up out of nowhere and start attacking us. I should have known. I should have figured with all the crummy stuff happening with me that it was just the enemy trying to distract me from something awesome God has planned!

I watched a talk from Doug Small about the road to Bethlehem. Each time I recall the things he said my insight seems to deepen a little more. He began to explain how difficult life must have been for Mary- explaining to her father she was pregnant... thinking she may be stoned since her betrothed was about to break things off and she wouldn't even have a husband... having to travel on a donkey at nine months pregnant! (I can't EVEN imagine!!!)

You know, we have heard the Christmas story SO many times and we have SO many preconceived notions and mental images set in place regarding it. We just picture Mary with a contented smile on her face as Joseph says, "It's okay that there's no room at the inn... this is God's plan anyway- for you to give birth in a stable. It's going to make the cutest little nativity scene! I know you may be a little uncomfortable during your labor tonight honey- but don't you worry. It's all gonna be worth it- because we're gonna be famous!"

Lol. Yeah... let's get real. That is probably not even close to what they were thinking! Unlike us, they had never heard the Christmas story. :) The Scripture doesn't say that Mary knew she needed to go give birth in Bethlehem in order to fulfill some old prophecy. She was probably thinking, "You are kidding me! I can't travel like this! I sure hope this baby doesn't come until we get back home!" 

Think about it. Have you ever experienced things continually going so "wrong" in your life... and you just keep trusting God even though you are completely backed into a corner... only to discover you have backed right into God's will?

So often, that is how God does it. We are so incredibly close to the pain and the sweat and the uncertainty... that we can't see the big elaborate plan God is accomplishing in us at that moment.

I don't know what God's doing exactly right now, but I get goose bumps just thinking about it! Satan has been working so hard... so that gives me a little clue that what God's got planned is pretty cool. :)


I'm feeling renewed... I'm feeling anticipation... and I'm ready to get God's attention and let Him know I'm ready and waiting. :)

Hypocrisy

About a month ago, Nick and I watched a seminar video on www.embassyinstitute.org titled "Openness and Brokenness" by Paul and Jenny Speed.

Mr. Speed tells the story of how years of hidden sexual immorality had crippled his ministry and oppressed his family. God convicted him to be open with his wife about his problem- despite his fears that it would hurt her too much. He came to a point of brokenness about his sin, and realized that by covering up these "small" failings; he had unknowingly given Satan an entrance into his family; to bind them and limit their effectiveness for Christ. Was his wife hurt? Of course. Was it embarrassing for him to confess to his children? Terribly. Was it worth it? His powerful testimony leaves no doubt in my mind that it was. As the spiritual leader of his home, he knew his "umbrella of protection" over his family had some holes in it. Perhaps they were small compared to some other fathers he knew... but they were still holes.

He gave an illustration that greatly impacted me: Imagine a thief arrives at your neighbor's home to find the front door wide open. He plumages and wrecks the entire place; stealing everything of value. When finished, he proceeds over to your home. When he tries the front door, it's dead bolted. Having no luck there, he walks around the back; spotting a small crack in your bedroom window allowing him to enter.


Does the thief do any less damage to your house than he did your neighbors?? Of course not. He got in. That's all he needed.

Sometimes we brush off what we think are "small sins" in our life; (those "little cracks") believing they are insignificant in the scope of things... that we can "deal" with them secretly.

SECRETLY. That's the key word. Proverbs 28:13 tells us, "He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy."

Satan is a liar and a deceiver. He loves it when he can convince us to deceive as well. Keeping secrets is an open door for him to oppress us. And we usually don't even realize we have just let him in. As children and teenagers, he tries to get us to keep secrets from our parents. As married adults, he wants us to keep secrets from our spouse.

I can't begin to tell you how big of an impact this message had on our marriage and our home. But the reason I'm writing today, is the subject of hypocrisy. Mr. Speed traced back his moral failings to the week before he got married. He viewed pornography, and kept it a secret from his then fiance. Something changed between them. He was no longer able to lead in their relationship. At the time, he wouldn't have dreamed of telling her the truth. He was raised by Christian parents who were in ministry. He knew he was supposed to look a certain way at church. He knew there were some things you didn't do in front of "church people". They thought they were raising him to be godly- but really, they had raised him to be a hypocrite- To pretend he was righteous, when really, there was sin in his heart that needed to be confessed. His father had never been open with him about his own problems of lust or immoral thoughts.... so he felt ashamed to admit to such things as a teenager.

Being open with our children, is one of the most important tools we have against the enemy. It cripples him. He has no entrance. 

Paul Speed related to his crowd that he believed the biggest problem he had faced was not lust; it was the desire to cover it up. It was hypocrisy. I began to pray that God would guard me and Nick against demonstrating and passing on a spirit of hypocrisy to our children.

Fast Forward 2 wks.

I'm sitting in Chick-Fil-A with my kids eating when I hear the man sitting behind me begin to raise his voice at his son. I couldn't help but glance back, (he was sort of making a scene). His eyes were boiling with anger as he started hissing out a stern warning through his teeth. "My Lord!" I thought. "I can't believe he's talking to his kid like that in a public place!"

Then, the light bulb went off.

If it's not okay to speak to your child like that front of people, it's not okay in private either. Do I yell at my kids in public? Never. Do I yell at them at home? .........   Let's just say I would be terribly embarrassed if all my training sessions were broadcast to the masses. I do lose my temper sometimes. I do discipline in anger sometimes.

It hit me like a brick. By disciplining them differently in public than I do in private; I am teaching my kids hypocrisy! Now, I'm not talking about spanking. It is important to be wise when spanking in public- although if the situation merits that action, I most certainly will do the job- (my child's soul is far more important to me that fearing what those around me will think or say.) But, God showed me a HUGE area in my life that needs altering. I do not want my children to learn a double standard from me- in ANYTHING! If I have to pretend my life is a reality tv show where people are always watching- so be it. By God's grace, I want my attitude towards my kids to be the same at home as it is in front of my pastor's wife. Always loving, always patient- while giving the correction they need and shepherding their hearts.

Making your own All-Natural Household Cleansers (For pennies!)

Lol... don't vintage cleaning ads just crack ya up?

I've wanted to switch to all-natural chemical-free household cleansers for some time now. The only thing stopping me was money. See, I'm a penny pincher... and I coupon. I was getting most of my cleaning products for free or close to it with my couponing... so I just couldn't bring myself to pay (a lot) more money for the natural stuff I saw in health food stores and catalogues.

Well, I've finally gotten to the point where I realize our health is more important than money. I'm tired of holding my breath while I clean, and knowing my kids are inhaling those dangerous fumes.

WELL! I've finally discovered a solution!!! MAKE THE STUFF MYSELF. SO cheap, SO eco-friendly, SO healthy, SO effective.... Am I missing anything?

The thing I use most is an all purpose disinfectant (for wiping down counter tops, toys and baby stuff, laminate floors etc.) So I decided to mix 1 part hydrogen peroxide with 2 parts water, adding a few drops of lavender oil. If you aren't familiar with hydrogen peroxide: it's simply amazing. It kills more germs than Lysol and it's actually safe to ingest. In fact, if you do ingest it, you'll be a little bit healthier. *smile* The Lavender oil is a naturally anti-bacterial as well, and it smells SO nice! You can play around with different essential oils for whatever smell you like in your cleansers.

You know how name brand chemical cleansers "smell good", but if you breathe in deeply it kinda burns your throat? Well, now when I clean I can NOT stop breathing in the smell. There's no burning; it just smells so pure and clean and WONDERFUL! Nick keeps commenting on the great smell as well.

Okay, so I've been researching recipes for other cleansers too and here's what I've found:
(Let me know how they work for you if you try them... also let me know if you have a fantastic laundry detergent recipe. I'm "shopping around" :).... the cheaper to make, the better! 




General Cleansers:
1.Vinegar and Salt: Mix to make a good surface cleaner.
2. Baking Soda: Dissolve 4 tablespoons baking soda in 1 quart warm water for a general cleaner.
3. Baking soda on a damp sponge: Cleans and deodorizes any kitchen or bathroom surfaces.
4. Liquid castile soap and baking soda or Borax: Use in different ratios. Try a little soap and soda/borax with large amount of water for floors, walls and counters. Try more soap, soda/Borax for tubs and sinks and anything that can be rinsed well.
5. Paste of baking soda and water: Makes an effective scouring cleanser.


Disinfectants:
1. Half-cup of borax and 1 gallon hot water: Add a few sprigs of fresh thyme, rosemary or lavender. Steep for 10 minutes, strain and cool. You could also add essential fragrant oils instead of fresh herbs. Store in a plastic spray bottle.
2. 2 tablespoons Borax, 1/4 cup Lemon Juice, 2 cups hot water: Combine the borax and lemon juice with the water in a spray bottle. Use to replace any commercial all-purpose cleaner.


Wood Furniture Polish:
Try a mixture of olive oil and lemon juice. (Always test your mixture on a small out of sight part of your furniture first!)

Glass Cleaners:
1. Undiluted vinegar in a spray bottle
2. Equal parts vinegar and water in a spray bottle
3. 1/2 lemon juice and 2 cups water in a spray bottle

Oven Cleaner:
Sprinkle baking soda all over stuck-on food and grease in the bottom of oven. Spray with water until moist. Continue to spray every few hours keep it moist. Let set overnight. By morning it should wipe clean easily.
(I have to inject here that I bought a commercial oven cleaner a few months ago. I thought I had no choice- had to get it clean somehow... the fumes were SO incredibly bad I felt we should all be wearing hazmat suits. I'm not kidding. I hope this recipe works as well as I've heard it does, but either way: I will NEVER buy that other stuff again!)


Toilet Bowl Cleaners:
1. Baking Soda and Vinegar: Sprinkle baking soda into the bowl, then squirt with vinegar and scour with a toilet brush.
2. Borax and Lemon Juice: Mix enough borax and lemon juice into a paste. Flush toilet to wet the sides, then apply the paste. Let sit for 2 hours and scrub thoroughly.
3. 1 cup borax, 1/2 cup white vinegar: Flush to wet the sides of the bowl. Sprinkle the borax around the toilet bowl, then spray with vinegar. Leave for several hours or overnight before scrubbing.
4.Liquid castile soap and baking soda or Borax: Scrub with a toilet brush.


Drain Cleaner:
1/2 cup baking soda
1 cup white vinegar
1 gallon boiling water
1/2 a used lemon


Pour baking soda down drain/disposal, followed by vinegar. Allow the mixture to foam for several minutes before flushing the drain with boiling water.

Tub And Tile Cleaners:
1. Baking Soda: Sprinkle baking soda just like scouring powder. Rub with a damp sponge. Rinse thoroughly.
2. Vinegar and Baking Soda: Apply vinegar full-strength to a sponge and wipe. Then use baking soda as you would scouring powder. Rub with a damp sponge and rinse thoroughly with clean water.
3. Vinegar: Use 1/4 cup (or more) vinegar to 1 gallon water.
4.Baking Soda: For grout cleaning, use 3 cups baking soda in a medium-sized bowl and add 1 cup warm water. Mix into a smooth paste and scrub into grout with a sponge or toothbrush. Rinse thoroughly.


Porcelain Cleaner:
Rub with cream of tartar sprinkled on a damp cloth.

Plumbing Fixtures:1. To clean stainless steel, chrome, fiberglass, ceramic, porcelain or enamel fixtures, dissolve 2 tbsp baking soda in 1 qt of water. Wipe then rinse.
3. Hard lime deposits around faucets can be easily removed by covering the deposits with vinegar-soaked paper towels. Leave the paper towels on for about one hour before cleaning. Leaves chrome clean and shiny.


Metal Shower Heads: To remove deposits combine 1/2 cup white vinegar and one quart water. Completely submerge the shower head and boil 15 minutes.


Plastic Shower Heads: Combine 1 pint white vinegar and 1 pint hot water. Completely submerge the shower head and soak for about one hour.


Rust Stain and Hard Water Deposit Remover:Apply full-strength vinegar or lemon juice and allow to set until spot disappears, rinse and repeat if necessary.

Pretty sure this goes without being said... but in case you're wondering: just purchase some spray bottles for your homemade cleansers, and label them accordingly! :)

Oh yeah, and I'd recommend using distilled water in your recipes for less residue left behind.

Frustrated with Child Training

I've read a lot of child training books. I read them as a teenager (home school assignments), and I've re-read them after marriage and having kids of my own. My personal favorite (as far as practical technique goes) has always been To Train Up a Child by Michael and Debi Pearl. I've benefited greatly from the many branches of their ministry, probably the most from their teachings on child training. I KNOW their methods work. I've seen the fruit- in other people's kids, as well as my own. So... are my expectations [with my own kids] high? You bet! I've been ruined for life. Never again will I be able to "settle" for one of my kids throwing a fit and getting away with it. I know better.

And yet, all of so called "KNOWLEDGE" in this area has been failing me lately. I find myself frustrated to the point of tears when Benjamin is disobedient. When he has an angry outburst, I immediately recognize it as a reflection of my own

How can I possibly be upset at him for such behavior when it mirrors my own? Why do I seem to be losing my joy in the area of training my children??

Sure, I could say I am just overwhelmed with having a new baby & Benjamin being in the "Terrific Two's"... but I know deep in my heart it isn't God's will for me to continue feeling/acting this way.

He has a better way. So, a few nights ago before bed, I cracked open the Pearl's 3rd edition of No Greater Joy for a little child training "re-calibration". Instead, I got some soul "re-calibration". About 10 pages in, I came across a letter from a mother who expressed many of the same issues I just related to you.

Here is an excerpt from Mr. & Mrs. Pearl's response:

__________________________________________________________

In a small way, our book was to you in the area of child training, what the law was to Paul. The law was designed to be a schoolmaster to bring him to Christ (Gal 3:24). As a schoolmaster, the law found him wanting and failed him. But what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, Christ did do through His Spirit (Rom. 8:3).

Dear Mother, you are in that very same place spiritually. You do not need more technique. You need a fresh dose of grace, mercy, and love from God. You need a trip to the cross and the open tomb. You need what I need daily, a trip to the upper room and the filling of the Holy Spirit. Wash yourself in the mercy of God, accept His forgiveness, and you will be different from the inside out. You cannot work this out in your mind. It is the miracle of Christianity to which I direct you.

By way of practical advice, there are several things you need to consider:

• Your relationship to God

Without doubt, when a mother is out of fellowship with her children, she is out of communion with God. If there is no peace within, it will manifest itself in your relationship to the kids. We can hide or disguise our relationship to God, but it will show up in the kids. You cannot hide your own spiritual condition with training techniques. There is no way to do the right thing if you are not the right person.

It is not my intention to leave you in a state of condemnation. I am not trying to use guilt to motivate you to be "a better Christian." I am not telling you to exert more effort.

There is a doorway to God, not a stairway. We often forget that there is only one way to relate to God, and that is through the blood of His Son. At this very moment, without any preparation of the heart, we can confess our total sinfulness and enter into an experience of mercy and grace. God delights to grant forgiveness to the "poor in spirit."

The biggest obstacle to God's blessing is our own effort at acceptance. We can never find acceptance with God by striving to accept ourselves. Based on the sacrifice of Christ, God accepts what we cannot- in others and ourselves. What we reject, God injects with abundant mercy and forgiveness. The road to forgiveness is not to reverse your course (which is impossible) but to throw yourself upon the mercy of God. Purchase the little book, All of Grace, by C. H. Spurgeon. The first chapter will set your soul free.

• Your relationship to your husband

You cannot be a better mother than you are a wife. You cannot be in contention with your husband and be relaxed with the kids. It is impossible. You are a whole person, not an actor with different roles. There is a chain of authority, with God at the top, then your husband, then you, and finally the kids. A chain of authority is also a channel for the delivery of blessings. If you do not receive from the chain above, you cannot pass it on to the kids under you.

• Your relationship to your parents and friends

If there is bitterness, guilt, or resentment towards your parents or friends, your spirit will not be free to bless your children. If you are giving or receiving condemnation regarding anyone, then you cannot be other than a source of condemnation for your children.

Condemnation is like a odor; you cannot direct it. It just oozes in all direction, affecting everyone.

• Your attitude toward training

There can only be one motive for training your children- their welfare as they grow to bring glory to God. If you accept pressure from friends, relatives, or society to perform in a certain way, then you are no longer raising up children; you are coaching performers. The expectation of others is a blind motivator. It cares not for soul or spirit. It is for the praise of the moment- not even praise of the child, but praise of parents. Don't let anything, including our book, put you under pressure to display your good parenting. If necessary, be content to be a failure. Care not for your reputation. True training is soul training. Soul training is first training in love, peace, creativity, grace, kindness, understanding, and then self-discipline, obedience, and responsibility. To try to teach heart obedience and self-discipline in an atmosphere of criticism and anger is like trying to make ice in an oven. Shake yourself free from public opinion and personal ambition. Freedom of spirit and joy are caught, not taught.

• Your attitude toward life on this planet

To be a good mother you must have eternity in view. By that I do not mean that you must put on religious pretense, always rebuking the carnally minded around you, and steering all conversations back to the "sacred." A mother with eternity in view will see the value of relaxing with her children. Housework and schoolwork are so temporal, so worldly, unless you can do them in a spirit of fellowship with others. Every day deserves a song and a dance- not the dance of the world, but the dance of carefree feet skipping through the blessings and joy of just being.

Dirty floors, clothes that didn't get picked up, spilled milk, and schoolwork that didn't get done will be of no consequence 100,000 years from now.

Whether poor or rich, highly educated, or common laborer, the heart is cultivated to enjoy God's presence. All else is vanity and vexation of spirit.

Write down all the things that trouble you during a day, not just the ones that pertain to the children. What is the very first irritation of the morning? It may be very subtle. It may not lead to bad words. You may not even be aware that you have yielded to a bad spirit. Write it all down for one day and then review it at night. Was it worth it? What are your values? Can you realistically expect others to change? Yet, if you change in your values and responses, then all has changed.

• Your diet and sleep patterns

Many, many mothers are suffering from some form of chronic fatigue. Constipation is killing Americans. Fat is pressing in on the hearts and minds of society. Lack of nutrition and too much sugar are leaving brains running at the speed of garbage trucks. TV and late nights are stealing the family and health. Lack of exercise is wasting away minds as fast as it inflates bodies. Your mind functions through a physical brain. Your spirit lives in a vessel of flesh. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. You must learn to bring your body into subjection in order to free your spirit.

• Your attitude toward your children

We saved this one for last, because if the others are all tended to there will be no problem here. Learn to view your children as people, not kids. They are adults, minus eight to ten years, that you are counseling and encouraging. You have a privilege every counselor would love. You can undo the hurts and hang-ups by removing them before they happen. You are on the other side of the problem- before it is a problem. Your children are your fruit. You have the highest calling on planet earth. Several innocent souls are committed to your trust. They will be what you make them. Knowing this should give you a proper perspective.

Spend lots of time with your children just having fun. Think of ways to turn every moment of work and responsibility into joy. Win their hearts and earn a smile from each child every five minutes of the day. In doing so, you will not have trouble with your attitude or theirs.

Excerpt from No Greater Joy Volume 3 by Michael and Debi Pearl

Love believes the best

"Love believes all things, hopes all things." -1 Corinthians 13:7

In the deep and private corridors of your heart, there is a room. It's called the Appreciation Room. It's where your thoughts go when you encounter positive and encouraging things about your spouse. And every so often, you enjoy visiting this special place.


On the walls are written kind words and phrases describing the good attributes of your mate. These may include characteristics like "honest" and "intelligent," or phrases like "diligent worker," "wonderful cook," or "beautiful eyes." They are things you've discovered about your husband or wife that have embedded themselves in your memory. Then you think about these things, your appreciation for you spouse begins to increase. In fact, the more time you spend meditating on these positive attributes, the more grateful you are for your mate.


Most things in the Appreciation Room were likely written in the initial stages of your relationship. You could summarize them as things you liked and respected about your loved one. They were true, honorable, and good. And you spent a great deal of time dwelling on them in this room... before you were married. But you may have found that you don't visit this special room as often as you once did. That's because there is another competing room nearby.


Down another dark corridor of your heart lies the Depreciation Room, and unfortunately you visit there as well. On its walls are written the things that bother and irritate you about your spouse. These things were placed there out of frustration, hurt feelings, and the disappointment of unmet expectations.


This room is lined with the weaknesses and failures of your husband or wife. Their bad habits, hurtful words, and poor decisions are written in large letters that cover the walls from one end to the other. If you stay in this room long enough, you get depressed and start expressing things like, "My wife is so selfish," or "My husband can be such a jerk." Or maybe, "I think I married the wrong person."


Some people write very hateful things in this room, where tell-off statements are rehearsed for the next argument. Emotional injuries fester here, adding more scathing remarks to the walls. It's where ammunition is kept for the next big fight and bitterness is allowed to spread like a disease. People fall out of love here.


But know this. Spending time in the Depreciation Room kills marriages. Divorces are plotted in this room and violent plans are schemed. The more time you spend in this place, the more your heart devalues your spouse. It begins the moment you walk in the door, and your care for them lessens with every second that ticks by.


You may say, "But these things are true!" Yes, but so are the things in the Appreciation Room. Everyone fails and has areas that need growth. Everyone has unresolved issues, hurts, and personal baggage. This is a sad aspect of being human. We have all sinned. But we have this unfortunate tendency to downplay our own negative attributes while putting others failures under a magnifying glass.


Let's get down to the real issue here. Love knows about the Depreciation Room and does not live in denial that is exists.


But love chooses not to live there.


You must decide to stop running to this room and lingering there after every frustrating event in your relationship. It does you no good and drains the joy out of your marriage. Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt. It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.


It's time to start thinking differently. It's time to let love lead your thoughts and your focus. The only reason you should glance in the door of the Depreciation Room is to know how to to pray for your spouse. And the only reason you should ever go in this room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" in huge letters across the walls.




The above is an excerpt from Day 7 in the "The Love Dare." Reading this brought conviction to my heart, not only regarding my thoughts towards my husband, but also towards my brothers and sisters in Christ. Do I assume the best about people? Do I focus on the great things about their personality? Or do I relish hearing a negative tidbit of gossip about a friend? I do not have the ability, nor the responsibility to change others. I am responsible for me. What I am called to do, is to love others with a Christ-like love. If I truly have that agape love, I will believe the best about others. If someone offends me, I will assume that was the absolute last thing they intended. I will give them the benefit of the doubt, just as I'd hope they would do for me.

What a revolutionary way of thinking, huh?